If you had told me a year ago that I’d be solo parenting a toddler and a baby, I would have searched for an exit ramp. But here I am, and through the beautiful chaos, I’ve found a few “anchors” that keep our days from drifting into total mayhem. Here are the five things saving my sanity right now.
1. The “Hot Wheels” Shower Strategy
When you don’t have another adult to tap in, getting a hot shower feels like a luxury. My solution? I bring the “Hot Wheels graveyard” into the bathroom. I set up a small, safe play zone on the bath rug with a handful of cars. 2 year old loves giving his cars a bath and my 10 month old loves anything his brother loves. This keeps them occupied, I’m only two feet away, and for five minutes, I get to wash the day off.
2. Strategic “Safe Zones”
When you’re outnumbered, you need a place where you can put one child down and know they are 100% safe while you attend to the other. Whether it’s a high-quality playpen or a strapped-in high chair, these “safe zones” are essential for those high-stress moments like mid-diaper blowouts or boiling pasta water.
3. The “Stock Bit” Reward System
Financial stress is the heaviest weight a solo mom carries. To combat this, every time I make it through a particularly tough day, I move $5.00 into my SoFi Invest account and buy a “Stock Bit” of a dividend ETF. It’s a small way to remind myself that I am building a future of independence, one five-dollar bill at a time.
4. Intentional “Yes” Moments
Chaos is draining, but connection fills you back up. I’ve learned to stop fighting the mess and started turning it into a game. If the living room is a wreck, we have a “car race” to see who can park their Hot Wheels in the toy bin the fastest. Turning a chore into a “Yes” moment changes the energy of the whole house.
5. Building Your Non-Existent Village
A year ago, I didn’t have a village. I had to build one from scratch. This means reaching out to other moms, joining local groups, and learning to ask for help when the mountain feels too steep. You weren’t meant to do this in total isolation.
Bonus tip: Get yourself a nice book light if your kiddo sleeps in your bed like mine does. This is the one I use and it is awesome and inexpensive! https://amzn.to/4sgilKz
Hot Wheels and Hot Showers 
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