Solo, Not Alone.

It’s 7:00 PM on a Tuesday, and the living room looks like a Hot Wheels graveyard. My two-year-old is currently trying to use my leg as a ramp, and my ten-month-old is ‘singing’ at the top of his lungs from his high chair as he chucks guacamole onto the floor just to watch it fall.

This isn’t where I thought I’d be in late 2025. October didn’t just bring the changing leaves; it brought a change that flipped my entire world upside down. For the first time in two years, I am breathing air that doesn’t feel heavy with fear. I am a solo mom, and while the house is louder than ever, the silence of safety is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.

Leaving was not a snap decision. It was a slow, agonizing climb that took two years of finding my courage, piece by piece. Leaving domestic abuse is often described as ‘fleeing,’ but for me, it was ‘ascending.’ I had to grow strong enough to carry the mental and financial load of two small humans and a broken heart into a future that was completely unknown.

I want to be real with you: solo parenting two under three is chaotic. There are moments when I feel like I’m barely keeping my head above water. But there is a massive difference between the chaos of a toxic home and the chaos of a healing one. One drains you; the other, while exhausting, eventually fills you back up.

A year ago, I stood at the edge of this same cliff and retreated. I was pregnant with my second baby, chasing a whirlwind of an 18-month-old, and the sheer terror of doing it alone was a weight I couldn’t yet carry. I spent endless, late-night hours scouring TikTok and the internet for a sign—searching for ‘solo parenting while pregnant,’ ‘surviving a newborn with a toddler,’ or any proof that 2 under 2 was possible without a partner. Eventually, that fear of the unknown grew so overpowering that I convinced myself I wasn’t strong enough. I chose the ‘known’ pain of a destructive life over the ‘unknown’ challenges of freedom because I didn’t yet trust my own power.

It took another full year to realize that staying was far more destructive to my boys and to my own soul than leaving could ever be. Unwittingly, I spent that ‘extra’ year positioning myself—slowly building the financial independence I was told I’d never have and carefully assembling a village of support that had previously been non-existent. Today, I still don’t have all the answers, and I frequently have to remind myself to trust the process. I am writing this because I want to be the anchor I was desperately searching for a year ago. Whether you are thinking of leaving, have already stepped away, or just know in your heart that you need to someday, I want you to see through my chaos that you are not alone—and that new beginnings, however messy, are where the most beautiful connections are born.

My goal for this blog, Hot Wheels and Hot Showers, is to show you that a new beginning is possible. We aren’t just ‘getting through’ the day; we are turning the toddler chaos into intentional, meaningful connection.

We’re going to talk about:

• Finding the ‘Yes’ in the Mess: Turning clean-up into games.
• Solo Survival Kits: The gear that actually helps when you’re outmanned.
• Healing While Parenting: How to nurture your children’s hearts while you’re still mending your own.
• Financial Independence: Moving from ‘not knowing’ to ‘owning your future.

To the mom reading this who feels trapped, or the mom who just left and is staring at her own mountain: you are a survivor, not a victim. Your life is expanding in the absence of fear.

You can do this. We can do this. Welcome to my new beginning. I’m so glad you’re here.

What is one small ‘win’ you had today? Even if it was just a five-minute hot shower, I want to hear it in the comments below.